5 Questions with Chef Heena Patel

What’s the best party you’ve ever been to, and what made it so memorable?

The best parties have a relaxed host. You can feel it immediately. When the host isn’t stressed about everything being perfect, everyone else relaxes too. People stay longer, conversations get better, and somehow the kitchen becomes the place everyone wants to be.

I actually love being in the kitchen at a party. Give me a cutting board and something to chop, and I’m happy.

I still remember my first Thanksgiving after coming to America. I’m vegetarian, and I was discovering foods I had never grown up eating: green beans with fried onions, sweet potatoes with maple syrup. I remember thinking, Oh, this is how another family celebrates the holiday.

That stayed with me. Now I make Thanksgiving my own way.

I think that’s what happens with food when you move through the world. You carry what you grew up with, you discover something new, and eventually you make it yours.

What’s the worst party you’ve ever been to, and where did it go wrong?

Being the vegetarian and getting a plate of greens while everyone else is eating the good stuff.

I’m laughing, but I’m also serious. You can tell when someone has thought about you and when they haven’t.

I don’t need a complicated separate meal. I don’t expect the host to redesign the party around me. But if you make one thing that I can really eat and enjoy, I remember that.

Some of the most meaningful meals I’ve had were when someone simply said, “I made this for you.”

That is hospitality to me. It’s not about how much money you spend or how fancy the food is. It’s about making someone feel considered.

What’s your go-to hosting trick?

Make it personal.

At Besharam, Paresh, our family, and our team want people to feel like they have walked into our home - not just into a restaurant.Working along with my life partner I don’t know when the restaurant ends and when home begins.

Remember someone’s name. Notice when they come back. Give them a real hello. If somebody is celebrating something, celebrate with them.

And I love a little welcome drink. Champagne, or Panipoori shots, Nothing complicated. It just says, You’re here. Relax. Let us take care of you.

I think hospitality is really about making people feel seen.Food is only part of it.

If you were hosting a dinner at home tomorrow, what would you cook, and who would you invite?

I’d go to the market first and decide there.

I don’t like planning every detail too far in advance. If the vegetables look beautiful, that tells me something.

I’d probably make khichdi because it is comfort food for me, then build the meal around it. Seasonal vegetables, pickles, chutneys, something crispy, something spicy. I like a table with lots of little things. You don’t need ten complicated dishes. You need food that makes people want to keep reaching across the table.

And I’d invite my husband Paresh, grand parents, parents, my children, all my sisters, my nieces and nephews.With celebrity list Oprah Winfrey, Padma Lakshmi, Poorna Jagannathan, Francis Lam (host of The Splendid Table), and Mindy Kaling. I’d want to talk about food, culture, women, immigration, identity - all the things that food carries with it.

And I’m sure we’d eat a lot.

What would you serve for a cozy fall or winter gathering?

Onion fritters with chiles, cilantro, and basil, straight from the hot oil, with a cup of chai.

That is my kind of cozy.

I like food that makes people gather around the kitchen. Something is frying, the chai is hot, somebody is stealing the first fritter before you’ve even served it.And honestly, that’s when I think food is at its best - not when everything is perfect, but when everybody is comfortable enough to get a little messy.