Five Questions with Erica Bonelli

What’s the number one thing people get wrong when hosting at home?

Trying to make sure everything is perfect instead of enjoying the company. If you’re stressed, people feel stressed. Everyone has a much better time if you’re together enjoying the night vs. you spending the whole time in the kitchen or running around! 

Do you recall the best and worst dinner parties you’ve attended? Give us the scoop. 

Yes! I’ll start with the worst - I attended a dinner party where the host was very formal about announcing each dish and even yelled at people for talking on the side during the presentation. If I wanted to go to a formal tasting menu, I’d go to Eleven Madison Park! 

Best - To be honest, my husband and I host the majority of the dinner parties in our friend group. My favorite one I’ve hosted was a Spring Soiree on the patio for my girlfriends. Everything was themed around spring and transformation and I sent out handwritten invitations ahead of time with thought-starters like:

• What growth have you experienced recently? 
• Are there any areas you want to practice growth in?
• What’s rejuvenating you right now? 
• What makes you feel renewed?
• Is there a fresh start that’s calling to you?

I’ll never forget one of my friends was a new Mom and she shared a story about how when flamingos give birth, they lose their pink color because so much of their energy is going toward the baby. She shared that this spring she was going to “get her pink back.” It was such a special moment to share with a group of women who had mostly met for the first time that day. The food, drink and decor all contribute to the vibe, but curating an intentional evening is really about the conversation and the company. 

What’s one thing you’d tell a first-time host to stop worrying about? 

Creating an overly complicated menu or trying a recipe for the first time. Go with something tried and true, or if you feel strongly about trying something, give it a quick test run before the dinner party! The easiest thing to start with is an incredible cheese / conservas board. Have some fun at your local cheese shop and grab a few cheeses, olives, crunchy bits, pickles, jams, tinned fish, etc. 

When do you know a party has been a success – what’s the feeling in the room?

When no one wants to leave! I had a book club recently where people were drinking wine until 1am I literally had to kick them out. That feeling of lingering at the table or in the living room with your friends amongst the dirty plates, candle nubs, and empty wine bottles is the magic of the party. 

What’s a small detail you always notice during events (that most people miss)?

The smell & the music. I have a signature candle (Flamingo Estate climbing Tuscan rosemary) that I always light, and I always have light background music going before the first guest arrives. It helps people ease in if they’re the first to arrive and to not feel like they’re “too early.” It also sets an atmosphere right away for the vibe of the night! Sometimes I curate a playlist but most often I just use a Spotify one like SZA radio or Tame Impala radio.  

Do you plan your own parties the same way you help your clients organize? Or do you throw out the rulebook?

I do in a lot of ways! I have my list of logistical things I need to confirm (What’s the menu? Do I have enough plates, cups, silverware, etc. for everyone?) but I also create a moodboard for my own parties the same way I do for clients. It really helps me set a vibe and intention for the night which goes a long way. I’m such a visual person so I like planning the visual cohesion of the tablescape & florals ahead of time, but I always leave room for spontaneity too.